The Disney Workout

So let's be clear. In Disney films, there are not many variations in body types among women.  Let's look at our lady stars.  All of them have pretty much the same physique. In fact, you could swap out their heads and skin tone and you'd essentially have the exact same body for each and every female lead character.

Sweating-beauty-disney-workout

They are skinny, slim-waisted, round butt, thigh gapped to perfection. That is the standard of beauty in any and every Disney film. Of course we have some exceptions to the rule. Let's look at the curvy Ursula, the sea witch. OH WAIT, she's big and fat, which makes her bad and ugly. And that is why she is the villain.  Ursula herself has to change into a slim brunette in order to capture Prince Eric.  That's the whole point.  Prince Eric falls in love with Ariel before even hearing her SPEAK. Why you ask? Because she's skinny, gorgeous and hot! Boom!

Let's take a look at another princess....  Belle! Okay, I love Belle. Literally French for "Beauty" (thank you 10 years of French class, that's literally all I know).  Belle is a bit different from the other princesses. She's not a princess.. yet. She loves reading, she's just a gorgeous bookworm who doesn't fall prey to the buff muscular Gaston (who I actually still am in love with).  But she does end up getting captured by a Beast and falling in love with her captor over time. Hello Stockholm syndrome.  

Anyways, my point is that the women are fit, they're hot, they're slim. If you're a woman in this and you're NOT slim, you're either a fat villain or you're a chubby grandmother or old fairy (like the fairy Godmother in Cinderella).  A large woman cannot and does not exist in Disney films as anything other than a side character or side role.  A large woman is not viable as a romantic interest, it just doesn't work like that in the Disney world.  So my friends and I came up with what we like to call the "disney workout", an easier workout than the 21 day fix reviews that we do every day with our cute little color containers and eating plan, but still a lot more fun too, lol. Basically in our exercise routine, you have to do 10 jumping jacks every time a hot girl comes on the screen.

You have to do crunches for the entire duration of any burst into song. Cute: Part of your world... If it's a romantic ballad, you do crunches.

Cinderella-workoutIf it's a pop ballad like "Under the Sea" you need to jog on the spot.  Every time a villain comes on you need to do the dirtiest most difficult and challenging workout which is the dreaded SQUATS.. 15 squats per scene with a villain.  

If you see a rainbow or pot of gold you have to do 5 burpees. And time a talking animal or fish comes on the screen you need to do 10 jumping jacks. A dashing prince equals 5 forward lunges on each side of the leg.

It's actually amazing. We put on our calorie counters and burnt about 400 calories in one 1.5 hour long movie, lol.  

Enjoy!


If Disney Characters Could Whatsapp..

Let's be honest. Having a mobile phone is a fashion statement.  I personally own a Samsung Galaxy Trend and even my friends make fun of me. I've never had a cool phone, but if you have an awesome phone - people think you're just a bit cooler, richer, more popular.  One thing I like to do to hide my ugly phone is have cool phone covers.

Mickey-mouse-phone-coverSome of my favorite disney characters have their own mobile phone covers. I personally have a cool Mickey Mouse cover.

One of my favorite applications to use on my phone is Whatsapp.  I chat to all my friends on there and it's free.  But that made me wonder, what kinds of things would Disney Characters say if they could message their friends?

Would they talk about their troubles in the castles? Their problems with their wicked step-mothers?  Would Mickey talk about his love for Minnie and would the Little Mermaid make her status something about how much she wishes she could have legs to be able to go on land and meet her Prince?

There are so many things to talk about online and Whatsapp would be a great outlet for many of these disney characters! I decided it would be fun to compile a list of Cool WhatsApp Status for this awesome application and see what kind of things the characters would write about! I like using this app to talk to my friends about my hobbies and things that are going on in my daily life. I've been using it for about 2 years as it's super popualar in Europe. A lot of my friends have never heard about it before but I made them get it so I could talk to them for free from Europe! It works well. I don't make too many statuses, but my favorite statuses to make are ones that talk about the day, how I feel in the moment, if I'm going on a trip or something coming up or I like to say fun things about different holidays.

If it's the summer, I'll change my status to "Yes, summer's here!".. but what would a Disney character change her status to? Let's imagine... Snow white, for example.. 

Disney-whatsapping

In this funny picture from Buzzfeed, snow white is telling her prince that dinner is ready and that he and the dwarves need to wash up for dinner!  

I have a feeling snow white wouldn't like the idea of living with 7 men, but that's just me, haha.

I like in this post that you can use lots of fun different emoticons in your Whatsapp statuses to make your post more interesting! You need to be careful of using too many emoticons though because some people find them annoying!

Sometimes when I'm talking to my boyfriend and making a joke, I won't use an emoticon and he will think I am angry and really I'm not!  That's why I always end most jokes with a :) smiley face emoticon so he knows I'm happy.  What's my whatsapp status today? Well, today is sunny and beautiful out so my status is: Happy on Holidays. Sun is Shining. With my love <3

 


The Absent Mother: Missing Mother Figure

One of the most prevalent themes of Disney films is the absence of the mother. Which is quite disturbing. The mother figure is always kind and maternal, before she dies.  How horrendous for young children, seriously!

It's not like this is a one-time deal. Disney has this in the majority of their films.. let's see.

Dumbo.. Momma elephant leaves poor little Dumbo.

BAMBI - Most notorious for the hunting of Bambi's mother - probably one of the most tear-shedding moments in the history of film..

The Little Mermaid - We never hear a word about the mother.. just about controlling over-bearing King Triton who dictates what Ariel can and cannot do.  Would the sea witch count as a mother figure? but she's just terrible and cruel, so.. no thanks.

Pocahontas - She has a father who is totally against the idea of her running off with John Smith but no mother in sight to have any opinion in the matter. The only mother figure is a grandmother old tree. What??

Beauty and the Beast - A smart intelligent girl with a slightly lunatic crazy inventor father with no actual mother or mention of her mother.. Why?

Snow White - Again. no mother, just a dad who passes away.. and an evil STEP-mother, jealous of Snow White's beauty to the point where she hires a huntsman to kill Snow White and later tries to poison her...

Cinderella - Wait, are there even any parents in that film? All I remember is again, an evil step-mother trying to ruin Cinderella's life because she's so beautiful and a threat to her two legitimate daughters.

Evil-stepmother-disney

The only mother figures in Disney films are cruel, horrible and evil.  Whereas the mothers are completely absent with no voice or even a mention of their history.  It's a very strange thing that exists in nearly every Disney movie. In fact, I can't think of any movie where there's a mother with a role. Hell, even The Lion King, there's no lioness mother. WHAT? WHY CAN'T WE HAVE ANIMAL MOTHERS? 

I am very sad now.  I think I'll write a new movie script and submit it to Disney. but if I want any success at all, I'll have to erase the mother and add in some evil step-mother, since that seems to be the running theme after all.


Do You Trust Me?

I think this is every girl's favorite words to hear from her man! I love this scene in Aladdin where Aladdin reaches his hand out to Jasmine and asks her if she trusts him.  She is hesitant and then says she can and they go on that epic magic carpet ride around the city.

The funny thing is that Jasmine shouldn't have trusted Aladdin because he was a scandalous liar, lol. But he was good looking and charming so women trust any men like that.  Plus he was rich.

Prince-aladdin

My blog is going to focus on Disney in real life, how we would be as real Disney life characters..  Aladdin is like my ex-boyfriend.  Charming, handsome, nice physique, dark hair.

Jasmine WANTS to trust him, she does. Who wouldn't? He's such a catch, witty, rich, come on! But the problem is that he's too perfect.  No man could be that perfect and faithful too, I'm sorry but it's true. So in the end, he had one defect.  What was that defect?  He is dishonest.

Dishonest is probably the worst trait of all traits....  because once trust is broken, once your partner lies to you, you can never trust them again.  What would they lie about next? It's a slippery slope. You forgave them that once but how long did it take them to come clean?

It took my ex-boyfriend about 5 years to admit some lies to me.  If he could lie for 5 years about something so important, what could he lie about in 10 years to come? 

Aladdin is your classic charming cunning man.  Attractive but dangerous, too bad because he's probably the favorite of most little girls out there dreaming of their prince charming. Sorry girls, you're about to face disappointment for the rest of your little lives.  Isn't that something to look forward to? :P


Hello and welcome!

Thanks for coming to my website, I'm so glad you could make it! Hehe! This is a blog to celebrate all of my favourite Disney movies, characters and talk about all the cool and fun merchandise you can get to show off how much you love your disney characters!  Hope you guys enjoy my site hehe!